JAYBIRD BYRNE
Bitter Sweet Bloods I wrote to capture how I felt in the days leading up to my diagnosis with Type 1 Diabetes. My body had stopped producing insulin, leaving my blood ironically both sweet with glucose and bitter with ketones. Without insulin, glucose can’t enter the cells to be used for energy, so the body begins breaking down fat instead, causing ketones to build up and make the blood acidic. At the time, I felt like I was existing but not really present—almost like I was trapped in a never-ending trip I couldn’t wake up from. The fear, the confusion, and the overwhelming wish for it all to stop just so I could feel normal again- this song is the encapsulation of all of this - the terrifying space between being awake while also being completely disconnected from yourself.
Check Out was written during a period when I was being treated for symptoms no one could explain. Before my Type 1 diabetes diagnosis, I was told it was all in my head, and I was given different medications to try to make the feelings go away. Instead of helping, the tablets just made me feel disconnected — like I was checking out of myself rather than getting better. This song captures that fog, that frustration, and the sense of drifting away while waiting for someone to finally understand what was really happening.
​Golden Love is a story about my Golden Retriever Bosco. The early part of the song, with its simple melody, catchy riff and verse, depicts his early life - joyful, playful, full of love. The song's heart is the solo, where he was injured and needed to recover. The simplicity of the solo reflects his state of mind as he recovered - when you are in pain it feels as though time ticks slower - and the solo reflects that. The solo then moves to a faster tempo and happier theme, where he is happy and running again on the rainbow bridge.
Euphoria is a song I wrote to describe the feeling you get when doing what you really love. For Autistics, what you love is often called your special interest because you can get a little obsessive about it and hyper-focus only on that thing. For me, it’s guitar (surprise!). Guitar is the thing not only that I love but also the thing that calms me and gives me peace and a sense of euphoria.
The Storm is about anger. In particular, Autistic meltdowns where I get in a headspace where I can’t control anything. It’s an anxiety-induced nightmare. Throughout the song, I pull back and start going softer dynamically; the softer dynamics are like the eye of the storm when I feel like I have held on to a little bit of sanity.
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Psychotic Delusions: As a teenage AuDHDer, sometimes it feels like the world is coming in at me. Psychotic Delusions is a song I wrote to describe what it feels like when my ADHD brain is taking over. Literally, it’s like a kind of psychotic feeling, like two voices are talking to me and telling me what to do.
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The Wolf: Jackman is a wolf-like German Shepherd with unlimited energy who simply wants to run free. I use my guitar instead of Jackman’s howl in this song to tell his stories. This song is a reincarnation of his perks, quirks and totally unique personality.
Pups at Work is a song about training my assistance dog Eddie. The progressive rock feel represents the unpredictability of training a pup. According to my pup, it is ‘dog training but on my human’s guitar’.
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Convergence: I am Autistic, so have difficulty expressing my own emotions. Music lets me express myself in ways I can’t through words, like a light guiding me through a dark path. I called this song Convergence because it shows my emotions and my guitar coming together in a song that helped me express how I feel. So naturally, there is a lot of variation in this song, but the parts just fit like a jigsaw puzzle.
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